As an Orphan
by theallpowerfullme
Summary: SasuNaru. Team seven got a mission to watch over an orphanage for a little while. Naruto seems fine, but can the others handle it?
1. Chapter 1

Okay yeah...can't help it...

Disclaimor: Don't own words, Naruto and crew names or anything else in the story exept possibly the plot and way they're put.

Sasuke for seme!

* * *

This was not good. Not good at all. The kids ran everywhere. Over, under, side to side the kids ran and they expected the great team seven to watch the twenty-something midgets and eleven buhzillion babies? 

The whole team thought this as the kids ran past them. Well, Naruto didn't. He was lost somewhere in the maze of tubes, nets, corridors and crowd of children.

"Oh, thank-you so much! My mother's been sick for a while and I couldn't find anyone willing to take care of the orphanage for me. Okay here's the skedule, phone book (emergency numbers are taped in the front including my mother's), the list of kids and some things about them, bedtime story book oh and a list of warnings and a map. Oh and give these to Naru-chan, he'll know what it's for! Thank-you!" The lady put everything in Sakura's arms and left. They looked at eachother...

"Naru-chan?" They whispered in unision.

Remembering they're rather populated problem, Kakashi, Sasuke and Sakura looked around once more, no sign of their lost teamate, no sign of getting out of there alive. Sakura dropped the books creating a loud echoing smash. The chattering kids silented before all starting to cry out loudly in dispare.

They all sighed and wished themselves luck. They'll definately need it.

-stop-go-

Naruto was lost. Oh how lost was he. He smiled as he watched the little kids run past him in the corridors. He turned around. Why not come back the way he came?

Bad idea. Now he was even more lost.

He wasn't to mad about it. He enjoyed seeing all the little giggle and run around. So full of energy.

A loud smash was heard to his right, then silence before an uproar of cry started. Well, knowing his team the way he did, he thought they propbably did it to shut the kids up and the plan backfired. He chuckled to himself and headed into the direction of crying.

-go-stop-

The three members went around trying to calm the upset children. It wasn't working. No matter what they did they couldn't get them to...

"Shut up!" Sasuke yelled. This was even too much for him. The children quieted and sniffled before crying even louder! Sasuke groaned while Sakura and Kakashi went around trying to coo the children.

Then when all hope was lost, there was a voice; the voice of their savior! "Alright, kiddos, Stop cryin' or when were makin' desert there'll be none fer the lot of ya!"

Amazingly the cries were lessened into small sniffles. The kids all looked toward the direction of the voice. Naruto stood in the hallway entrance his, jacket probably lost in the maze they call an orphanage, and he had an orange apron and a blue bandanna on with a latel in his hand. The children's faces grew smiles and the all jumped up and ran to Naruto.

"Naru-chan"s "Naru-nii"s and other nicknames were called as all the children glomped onto Naruto. In a way the three other ninjas were astonished as well as confused.

"At-ten hut!" All the kids lined up."Alright!" Naruto walked back and forth, "I need you, you and you here ( you are group one) You, you and you (group two) You, you and you (group three)..." He called out the groups. "Alright, Setsuka, go get Nyra and Fang and please make sure to hit them over the head for me before grabbing them and bringing them to meet Suki, Testsu, Renanoa and I in the kitchen." Setsuka nodded and went to go fetch.

"Naruto, an explaination would be nice." Kakashi stated.

"Oh, and the lady said said to give this to you, she said you knew what to do with them." Sakura handed Naruto the two envelopes.

"Buttmunch...givin' it to me when she's not here..."Naruto muttered looking at the envelope before putting it in his pouch.

"Dobe. explaination." Sasuke said, somewhat impatient.

"Yeah, yeah...hey sweety," Naruto said softly to the little girl next to him, "May I borrow a pencil and have two pieces of paper?" The little girl nodded and took the said objects out of her purse. The three ninjas stood there getting more and more paranoid. "Thank-you," Naruto started to write. "Explaination, explaination...I come and help out at the orphanage alot and donate alot of my paycheck and such...here you go." Naruto gave Kakashi and Sakura a list.

"Naruto, what is this..." Kakashi scanned it.

"It's a grocerie list. Here's money, " Naruto handed Kakashi one of the envelopes and said, "Groups one, three and five, you're with silver scarecrow," The children in the groups puffed out there chest and saluted.

"Whoa, wai-" Kakashi never got to finish the thought.

"Groups two, four and six, with pink cherry. Alright, the rest cleaning duty each pick a room. Oh!" Naruto looked at the groups standing next to very panicked Kakashi and Sakura, "If I find out any of you missed behave..._no dessert_."

The kids seemed to gasp and nodd.

"Dobe..." Sasuke started.

"Chicken butt head you're staying and helpin' me!"Naruto said proudly before explaining what to do with the list and pushing Kakashi, Sakura and co. out the door.

"Usur-"

"No name calling! It's a bad influence on the kids...Kids I metioned earlier in the kitchen with me, to the kitchen!" Naruto marched foward the other rushing ahead. "Come on Chicken Butt Head."

"Chicken Butt Head my a-"

"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted from the hall to the kitchen. " No swearing either!" Sasuke did the only thing that he could that didn't get him in trouble, he followed Naruto.

-----

Sasuke watched the kids helping Naruto, the ages of them had to be between four and eight. They giggled from time to time when Naruto wiggled his ass to "dance" to the music playing in the backround, which Sasuke didn't deny himself that he liked it. The way Naruto handled kids was amazing and that ass of his...Well, Sasuke forbade himself to think about in anymore in a room full of people.

He felt something plop in his lap. It was a head. Of a girl. Who had to be some where around eleven. Well, she was older then the other kids but not a teenager yet. Her ruby orbs looked at him. Then she spoke.

"You think Naru-chan's ass is cute, don't cha?" It was low, not to be heard by Naruto. It startled Sasuke, but he liked her...in a wow she must be a mind reader kinda way.

"...no comment." She laughed.

"Nyra, so nice of you to join us..." Naruto said through his teeth. He was tanding right before the two. Sasuke raised a brow.

"Yeah, yeah, I'l set the dishes..." She sat up and went over to the kids cooking and got out some plates.

"Sorry, if she bothered you, " Naruto sat down next to Sasuke. Sasuke looked at him 'Hn'ing and looked back at the kids. "Yeah but I bet I do too..." Naruto muttered barely audible. Sasuke looked at Naruto again somewhat surprised by the somewhat depressed sounding comment. "Kakashi and Co. will be back soon, go wait for them and help them bring the stuff in!" Naruto stood.

"You do it, dobe."

"Arrrrg! Don't call me that a-" Nyra smacked Naruto over the head, "Ow..."

"No swearing." Nyra said. Naruto yelled her about being a hypocrite which she calmly replied the same thing.

"Naru-nii! We're home!." One of the kids that had went with Kakashi and Sakura came in before the whole group flooded in with shouts of, "We were really good Naru-nii," and "We got everything you wanted."

Kakashi and Sakura walked in looking a little more cofident then before, Sasuke had noticed.

"Good, good, now all to your place for all of your places are to you." Naruto said and soon all of the children scrambled out of the kitchen accept those helping earlier.

Sasuke got up and went ot follow the children with Kakashi and Sakura." Um, you three don't have places stayin the kitchen, then we'll go eat in the living room." Naruto directed.

The children got their plates and started eating before Team seven went to the living room and started on their surprisingly delicious non-ramen food.

"Naruto this is good," Sakura broke the silence in which they were once eating in.

"Really then thank the kids, they did most the work." Naruto said, taking another bite of his food.

----

After the dinner kids were chosen for baking some sweets which no one would get until tomorrow, Naruto took a hour and a half to put the kids to bed and wishing them sweet dreams. He walked down stairs, to wear Kakashi and Sakura were fast asleep along with Sasuke whose eyes were closed.

"Hm, looks as if everyone's asleep...ha," Naruto talked to himself. He walked out of the room, returned with some blankets and draped them all over the resting bodies. "Goodnight," Naruto turned off the lights.

Sasuke opened one eye and sat up. He followed Naruto to the kitched. He heard a chair scratch across the tiled floor. He moved closer, until he was able to here.

"...ass." It was female, most likely that girl who talked to him earlier.

"In my dreams. Nyra, you're imaging things 'cuz you wanna get me fucked." So much for no cursing.

"No...well maybe it has a little to do with it, but the main reason is because you need some to care for you instead of you caring for everyone else."

"Nyra..."

"Naru-chan, don't cry," there was someone getting out their seat and walking a few feet. "You're too kind you know that. Come on you can sleep in my room so you can use the alarm clock, I already got the floor set fer ya!" Sasuke heard a hard chuckle and the chair scratch across the floor and foot steps leaving the room up the stairs. he stood there for a few minutes, thinking of the coversation. What did she say that Sasuke hadn't heard. He went back to the room and slept on it.

* * *

OMG! I'm doing a teen! And it's not a songfic! OMG! Okay maybe I'm over reacting...Anyways...I frogot what I was going to say so reveiw. 


	2. Chapter 2

Whahahahahaahaa! Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Mwhahahahahhahahaah!

* * *

Sasuke woke up to the smell of cooking eggs, toast and bacon. It all smelled delicious. Groggy, Sasuke stood and wiped his eyes before slowly dragging his still sleeping body, along with the blanket that kept him warm all last night, to the kitchen where he sat down at the table and rest his head in his arms. 

"Well, top of the mornin' to ya, Sasuke!" Naruto said and placed a plate full of food infront of him.

Sasuke stared at the warm meal infront of him, then to Naruto. _How can he be so energetic in the moring?_

"You know, it taste better hot. But that could just be everyone else in the world. Anyhow, eat up and here, it wakes you up better the any caffine can _and_ its healthy for you!" Naruto put down a red apple next to his plate.

Sasuke sat up and took the smooth apple in his hand. It was damp. _Must of just been washed. _Sasuke thought and took a small bite. "Thank you." He said.

"No, problem. Now, apple juice, orange juice, soy milk, or cow milk?" Naruto said looking in the fridge. Sasuke notice Naruto had the apron on from last night (the one that Sasuke now realized made Naruto look like the sexy lil maid that the rich man made love to because she was much prettier then his wife or really pretty like his wife) and that the two of them seemed to be the only ones awake right now.

"Apple juice, please." Sasuke answered and setting the half eaten apple down, he started to eat of the plate Naruto had given him, trying to rid himself of earlier thoughts. "Where is..."

"Sleepin'. I'm going to wake them up after I finish setting up breakfast. None of the kids wanna do work after they just wake up." Naruto poured the glass of apple juice and set it down once again infront of Sasuke before returning to the duty of cooking the sizzling bacon.

Sasuke slowly ate the toast, then the eggs and finally, the bacon. Naruto finished mixing a gooey substance before pouring some in large spots over the long oiled pan. Sasuke finshed and put the dished in the sink.

"Hey, Sasuke." Naruto called out. Sasuke spun around to face Naruto. Naruto looked at him with spatula in one hand and an empty plate in the other.

"Hm?" _Evile maid thought, go away! _Sasuke thought.

"Could you do the pancakes? I can never flip them and the kids always complain about them being deformed; and plus this way I can start setting the table!"

Sasuke nodded and took the objects from Naruto. Naruto walked away with covered, hot food and took them to the table coming back for more food then plate and eating utensils.

It occured to Sasuke. They sounded like a married couple. -Sasuke took a sip of his apple juice- . _"...The kids always complain..." _Screw the whole maid thing Naruto _was_ the sexy wife that was hardworking stay-at-home sexy mom type that stayed sexy and all guys wanted to marry. Sexy!

Sasuke swallowed wrong. He turned away and spit out the bit of apple juice left in his mouth and started to cough.

"Sasuke? Are you okay?!" Naruto ran into the kitchen. Quickly stumbling over to choking Sasuke, he patted and rubbed circles on Sasuke's back. "Here, have another sip." Naruto handed Sasuke the half empty glass of apple juice.

Sasuke took a sip and coughed a few more times after that. He took in a deep gasp of air and breathed it out. Sasuke looked into Naruto's big, blue, curious, _worried_ eyes. His face flushed.

"Sasuke, you okay? Oh, no! The pancakes!" Naruto said.

"Sorry..." Naruto looked at the apologizing Uchiha. He whisked his tan hand to Sasuke's forehead and slowly let it drop down.

"That must of suffocated you more then I thought, you're apologized! And you said please and thank-you earlier, too! A new record and the apocalapse! But to more important matters, since you're still alive, scrape the burnt charcol off the stove and finish with the pancakes." Naruto said, releasing a sigh of relief and walked out to finish setting the table hoping Sasuke won't kill himself.

Sasuke did so and finished with the pancakes and put the cover on them. Naruto put the pancakes on an empty spot on the table before heading up the stairs.

The kids slowly sleep walked down the stairs in the kitchen and continued their way to the dining room. Nyra came down stairs dressed and ready for action as she carried Fang, who was wearing nothing but boxers, down the stairs on her back.

She waved good morning to Sasuke and continued with the other kids.

Kakashi and Sakura entered the kitchen, sitting down at the small table placed in the middle. The let their heads fall to the table, possibly falling back to sleep.

Nyra entered the Kitchen. "Okay, Maggots! Time to wake up. It's already five thrity and the sun will rise soon enough! Naru-chan is taking care of making the that, so he will be down temporarily. I'm Nyra and I will be your server today. What would you like to eat and drink?" She said, loudly, to wake the sleeping "costumers".

"Coffee..." Sakura groaned.

"Tea..." Kakashi moaned and Nyra got to work.

"Whats about yous Sasuke?" Sasuke held his hand up as a no thank-you and continued with the last of his apple juice.

"Here you go!" Nyra chirped and continued to go eat with the other kids after she set the ordered items on the table.

-----

Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi watched Naruto run around the house looking for the kids as they played hide and seek. Sadly, Naruto had only found five of the fifty (it may be exagerated a little...) kids that hid in unreachable places.

Nyra and Fang, a boy, about the same age as Nyra ( Fang also being a little taller then her),that had short spikey brown hair and purple eyes, sat chatting and telling jokes. Most of which were about how Naruto looked so stupid looking everywhere for the children he had yet to find.

Naruto stood in the middle of the room. Taking in a deep deep breath he yelled, "Aolli aolli oxenfree!" When none of the kids came out he said, "Those who wish not get what they diserve, do not diserve at all!"

Sasuke smirked as all the little children came from all around like little bumble bees gathering honey. Sakura shook her head. Kakashi...well lets say he was still depressed from Naruto taking away his little sex novel claiming it wasn't a good influence for the children...

Speaking of influence..."Has anyone else notice how different Naruto acts while he's here compared to when we're somewhere else?"

The two other males that sat there with her, looked in her direction. "Yes," Sasuke said first

Kakashi was quiet before..."I need poooooorn! I'm gonna go buy the book again since I don't think I'll be getting back! Have fun!" He cheeered and poofed away leaving two very disturbed teens and a very yelly enraged Naruto.

"Kakashi get your big ugly butt back here! Auuug!"

-----------

Now...now...now?...now?!...

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" There we be.

Sasuke and Sakura, followed by Fang, Setsuke, Kimi and lots of other kids, entered the room from which they had heard a unmanly shriek from the oh so manly Naruto (you know the one in the apron...).

"Naruto, what's wrong?" Sakura asked, breathing in deep huffs to resupply lost oxygen from running. she gripped the doorway for support. Sasuke looked around and saw nothing but a... You've got to be kidding...

"Dobe, don't tell me your afraid of that little cockroach over there..." Sasuke smirked.

"L-little? That thing humonguous!"Naruto shrieked indignintly. The roach seemed to like the boy's reaction to it and took itself a few centimeters forward. "Eeek!" The kids behind the two nins dissapated away going back to whatever that they were doing.

"Eww..." Sakura said and looked away, "Sorry Naruto you're on your own." The girl took a step backwards. Sasuke seemed to enjoy Naruto's fear...a little too much.

Sasuke went over and picked up the roach and held it in the palm of his hand. "Dobe, it's not that bad. See." Sasuke shoved the roach in Naruto's face. Sakura's face twisted in disgust and disbeleif that the all perfect Sasuke had a childish side.

"Nooo!" Naruto jumped back, tripped, fell on his butt and cause Sasuke to 'accidently' drop the roach on Naruto.

"Ah! Get it off!" Naruto screamed jumping up hoping to have it fall. The roach stuck to his shirt and crawled up. "Sasuke!" Naruto cried and Sasuke quickly took it off the crying boy. Sakura quickly swept across the room to Naruto.

"Naruto, are you okay?" She asked, checking for injuries. Naruto sat there wide eyed watching the roach between Sasuke's fingers. "Sasuke! I can't believe you! Get rid of it!" She demanded and Sasuke walked out of the room.

"Naru-nii!" Nyra said, "What's wrong?" She dried her wet hands and walked up to the boy. "Sorry, I was in the bathroom. Is there a roach?" Sakura watched Nyra coo the boy after he told her that Sasuke got rid of it.

"There it's gone, Do-" Nyra pulled Sasuke out of the room. It was time for a long talk...

------

After a long talk from a livid Nyra about how Naruto was afraid of roaches and how there was nothing wrong with it, with a cowering Fang behind her, Sasuke was sentanced to dishes after lunch. What gave her the right to punish him anyways... Naruto was all cute with-

_Scrub harder. Scrub harder! _Sasuke commanded himself. He felt a familiar presence enter the room.

"Uhh, Sasuke," Naruto spoke, "I'm sorry about the whole roach thing...I'll do the dishes..." Naruto and his way towards Sasuke but he stopped him.

"No..." Naruto stared at Sasuke for a moment making the boy feel uncomfortable.

Naruto turned around and walked towards the entrance of the kitchen."Thanks Teme, for getting rid of the roach."

* * *

Finally! I know! Sorry their so OOC but Naruto has tohave a fear of something and I am deathly afraid of roaches...so yeah and Sasuke well he wanted to torcher Naruto... 


	3. Chapter 3

yeah, I know, forever right?

ren-ren - renanoa

* * *

If there was one thing Naruto hated more then Roaches (1. yes capital R. 2. fear and hate are different) it was Nyra's all or nothing attitude toward certain things that wined up on his shoulders. Like her revenges against the boys (Aka Fang and forced) for peeping in the showers. Which not only did in the people being revenged against but Naruto also. 

Which still didn't explain **why **she has to make everything so complicated. A simple, simple little thing like dye in the boys' shampoo. Naruto preferred Nyra's so he wouldn't get caught in it. Or even if she warned him not to go down the hall where she had set the trap would be nice and maybe the plan would of worked.

She didn't.

The plan didn't.

And now Naruto, who was having a rather calm day and innocently going to put laundry away in the boy's rooms, was sneaking to Nyra's room that was downstairs, past a lot of door less rooms, where any of his teammates could be, and on the opposite side of the orphan home that was almost the size of The Forest of Death, in a lovely little stripper ninja outfit that was a little more then a little too small because it was made to fit Fang, not Naruto.

Fang was almost a head shorter then him.

Naruto peeked around the corner. He took a deep breath. He'd have to find Nyra, too. He had tried to take it off. Really. He was going to take it off and put some of Fang's clothes, though too small, would be less revealing and all that then this was. Because, seriously, he was lucky that his black briefs weren't shredded with the rest of his clothes because _those_ were almost already hanging out. Almost.

And he had a really bad wedgie. So maybe he really wasn't lucky.

Naruto quickly walked around the corner and down the hall. His eye caught Nyra waiting near a hole -- impatiently -- waiting for Fangs cries of embarrassment. He looked around the corner and didn't see anyone else.

"Nyra!" He whispered. The girl replied with a face. Naruto stepped out a little more so Nyra could see her and he could see her face pale. Quickly she ran over to him.

"Naruto!" She whispered.

"Thanks for the warning." He muttered. "Grab the skissors and meet me in your room."

She nodded numbly and ran to the kitchen. Naruto could help himself from calling out, "Don't run with the skissors!"

He could _feel_ her roll her eyes at him. He couldn't blame her either, it just made him feel like a tard. A really big tard.

He checked around the corners until he reached Nyra's room safely. No Sakura, no Kakashi and most thankfully, no Sasuke. Naruto took the bed cover and rapped himself in it.

Jeebs, how humiliated he would be if they had seen him? Sakura and Kakashi would never let him live it down and Sasuke... Naruto almost didn't wan to think what would happen if Sasuke found out. Blackmail, slavery, and let's not for get he'd practically be giving the golden medal to Sasuke.

Naruto's heavy sigh covered the squeaky door opening and allowing padded footsteps inside. Sasuke wondered what Naruto was doing; he needed someone to clean up the paint some of the smaller kids had happily spilled all over the floor. Sakura had left to go to medical training a half an hour ago and Sasuke presumed Kakashi left just because he wanted to. Sasuke didn't feel like cleaning it himself.

When he spoke, Naruto jumped and flicked his head around to see Sasuke, his face as pale as the caramel-vanilla cream color of the bed sheet rapped around him, if not without a hint of a dreaded blue -- maybe a sick green.

"Dobe, you need to clean up spilled paint in the crafts room."

"Do it your," Naruto swallowed, "self, bastard."

"No."

"Hey, I got-- Oh, Sasuke, the kids in the craft room seemed to be looking for you, something about spilled paint that the little kids walked through and got on the carpet."

Nyra noticed Naruto's and Sasuke's skin toned matched, and it hit a switch in her mind. She reacted quickly to it and hid behind the wall next to the open-out door in the hallway. She knew when Naruto paled, it wasn't good. It could only possibly mean three things and each thing had a special tint to it.

1: Pale with an obvious shade of green -- sick, can't take care of kids.

2: Caramel-vanilla cream with a hint of blue or green -- frightened or in dread.

3: the color he was now (and worst of all three) -- he was in dread and uberdupersuberextrawitholdmoldwhipcreamandstrawberriesontopsurepextremlyextra (AKA really really _really_) mad.

When Naruto spoke, his voice low and gruff so much that Sasuke almost didn't here him. Sasuke did and something in his instincts told him if he didn't it was the couch for a year -- whatever that meant. So he left and went to get some soy milk, like Naruto told him to do. As he walked through the door Naruto let out this vicious scream that made Sasuke almost piss his pants and he put chakra in his feet and left for the store.

Sasuke felt slightly idiotic, but smart at the same time.

Nyra poked her head through the door. "C-can--"

"Get it off -- NOW!"

Nyra did so and left, glad that her ovaries were still in her body.

-- -----------------------

Naruto wrung out the towel and sprayed the carpet cleaner on the last foot-print stain. He was fully aware that his kids watched him, slightly hungry, but highly aware they would have to wait. He was pretty sure he heard Sasuke's stomach once too, when he went to get clean water from the kitchen.

He had thought about blaming Sasuke for the mess, but who was he kidding? It wasn't Sasuke's fault that he had watch the kids, though he could of done a better job of doing so. Next was Nyra, but quickly dismissed her as she had every right. Fang shouldn't have forced the kids to go peep on the girls with him. At least the kids were nice enough to pretend to close their eyes!

He scrubbed harder as the suds grew both in size and a orange-cream color covering the stain. Dumping the cloth in the bucket, picking the the suds with the cloth and dumping the cloth back in the bucket and repeating until he was able to see all the paint was gone. He gazed over back into the crafts room where the orange paint was drying on the tile, but hey! All the orange on the carpet was gone.

He still sighed. What a waste of paint.

Going over to the tile he cleaned the easy to wipe foot prints of paint before doing the same thing he did on the carpet without the carpet cleaner.

When he stood his kids all took a step back, no doubt they heard him yell.

"Narwu-n-nii?"

"Yes, Ren-ren?" The little boy looked at him. His cute little green eyes looking at Naruto and filled to the brim with tears. Renanoa opened the mouth to say something before he started to sob.

"I'm sowry!" He cried. Naruto smiled lovingly at the child and stroked the tears from the six-year-old's eyes with his thumbs. His hand lifted the kids face up to meet his because it had looked away during the apology.

Kissing the kid's forehead, Naruto leaned back and smiled. "It's okay, as long as you never do it again. Promise?"

Renanao nodded and looked at his orange feet.

"Alright, fend for yourselves, then feed Sasuke, but leave at least two cookies for Ren-ren and me."

"Okay," The group said together.

Naruto stood, picking up Renanoa and placing him on his hip. Sasuke from the sidelines, grieving what may happen if the kids ate then fed him as Naruto told them to do, thought it cute as Naruto tickled Renanoa's feet and probably took the kids to take a bath.

"Nyra?!" Naruto called from where ever he was.

"I disabled them all, I promise!"

* * *

Peace out yo! 


	4. Chapter 4

OMG, I know. Go read some of Stavi 's stories. The fact that she PMed me (I'm assuming she already reviewed) made me smile and want to work on this. Horrible, I know I am.

* * *

Life was a bitch. There was no yelling or screaming or hitting or any great make-up sex, it was just a bitch. And it for some unknown reason felt it needed to be that way most of the time. Was it fun? Or was it being paid like the people working late nights on holidays?

What ever the reason, the cause, Naruto had found out Nyra and Fang decided something.

Life needed a male dog.

Simple, sweet and maybe not so innocent when people find out they're dog's eggos were preggoed.

Naruto covered his face, a very red colored face, as he sat embarrassed on the couch, his legs pulled to his chest, his heart so nervous and feverishly beating that he almost feared it was going to stop or burst -which ever was more painful, and then buried his very, _very_ red, hand covered face in his body cocoon.

Okay, let's tried to focus and stayed organized.

Naruto took a peek at Nyra and Fang sitting infront of him, not looking at him or at each other. They're faces were just as red as his was, both their hair and outfits a complete mess, frazzled from a complete state of desperation.

_The bright side_, Naruto thought, _the **bright side**_.

Oh, who was he kidding? The only bright side was he didn't need to give the insert the what into the what speech.

Okay, yeah, ninjas tended to reproduce early in life. They didn't know if their next mission would be their last. But Nyra and Fang weren't even training to be ninjas. Hey, the only time their lives were endangered was when Naruto was mad and it was their fault.

Right now, Naruto was way too embarassed to be mad.

"We-we're sorry," Nyra mumbled a bit desperately from far far away. "We---"

Naruto noted it was obvious they were in the same completely frazzled state he was in. That was hard to figure out, no, but Nyra also didn't know what to say even though she didn't always _have_ something to say, she always _knew_.

Life was like a bunch of coconuts that floated upon a shore. Some sour and others sweet as you opened them and ate their meat.

Naruto had just taken a large sweet expecting bit into a sour coconut.

Setsuka and Renanoa walked in, each holding a teddy-bear and looking teary-eyed at Naruto.

"Narwootoh," Renanoa sniffled, "Tetsu an' the uhthers tied Sakoo and Duck-butt an' and fwoooo....."

Both the little munchkins in the doorway started to cry.

Naruto could deal with crying.

"You two," he said, his voice wobbly with total unsureness, "no more."

The two teens on the bed nodded.

Naruto turned to Renanoa and Setsuka, bawling their eyes out. "Alright, let's go save Saku and Duck-butt."

------

It was obvious Sasuke and Sakura were not happy jelly-beans at the moment. Tied to chairs then to each other the two watched the little kids prepare the sacrificial ceremony. Bringing necessary objects into the room, opening them, preparing them. Sasuke and Sakura were pigs on a roast.

Not cool.

At least, not for them as the little barbarians started to paint their faces pretty colors.

When Naruto saw this, he laughed really hard. Okay, so, yes, he did have to go change his underwear because he laughed so hard he pissed his pants.

Walking into the room a second time, Renanoa on one hip, Setsuka on the other, he still giggled a little at the horrified looks on the sacrifices faces. Not that he could see their eyes and or anything that well between the rainbow colors and the little hands that were busy making magic on their living canvas.

"Naruto, if you don't help us now, so help me God....." Sakura growled, wriggling a bit.

The kid on her lap held her face still. His lips puckered and he gave her a childish glare. "Don't move."

Naruto carefully put Setsuka and Renanoa down, removing his shirt from his well trained, developed body.

"Al'right, let 'em go and paint on me instead." He offered sitting down and opening his arms wide. "You can paint on me anywhere you're little painter hearts desire."

The tribe of The Little Painter Natives scrambled off the laps of their captives' laps and into a little group circle. There were quick, hushed whispers and nods and head shakes. Naruto melted at the cuteness.

The kid that was on Sakura's lap came forward, his chin up, dignified. He looked at Sasuke and Sakura and waved his hand. "Thewy're no wronger worfy of us. Untie dem."

The little kids excitedly untied the two and grabbed the paint sets, heading for their new victim canvas.

Sasuke and Sakura rubbed their arms where the rope had dug, watching in horror and pain as Naruto started to smiled, like some pedophile with a new treat, as the little Painter Natives attacked him with their finger paints of utter doom, destruction, and torture.

They both looked at Naruto with different eyes from that day on.

-----

Sasuke watched Naruto and some of the other boys rub the paint off his skin as they took showers tonight in this big bathroom with lots of toilet and shower stalls.

"Sasuke," Naruto whined, "Can you get this paint off my back? Ren-ren and the other tried and they can't scrub hard enough and Fang is still hiding from meeeeeeeeeeeeee."

Sasuke huffed, "Quit whining, Dobe. I'll do it."

Of course, he regretted it.

Sasuke gently took the towel from the small boy that handed it to him. The spot of black paint was right between his shoulder blades. Sasuke placed his one hand on Naruto's seductively slick shoulder, soft and smooth that made Sasuke want to rub his naked body against Naruto.

Sasuke felt he needed to stop thinking like that. Okay, yes, he liked Naruto, not hard to figure out. Now, how to reject him. That was what wasn't so easy to figure out.

He rubbed it, and rubbed, and rubbed.

"Ouch, Sasuke! I may be a ninja, but I'm still a being that feels pain, ease up."

Sasuke sighed, looking at the spot.

"It's a tattoo." He stated. A little black sun, something that looked like the henna art one the costumers they had in the past made.

"Eh?! I forgot I had it!" Naruto said reaching over his shoulder to feel it. His back arched a bit as he reached farther backwards, Sasuke noticed.

Sasuke also noticed, if he valued whatever was left of his self-moral, he better leave.

* * *

Okay.


End file.
